Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Log Skin With Handles
I cant think of a better way to protect your 20 x 8.5 x 8.5 log from everyday wear and tear. Not sure what the handles are for though.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Not Useful Logs
Why make logs and a twig out of the same material they make toilets out of? Duh!? That makes about as much sense as a toilet made of logs and twigs. Wait a minute....that sounds familiar. Oh, yeah, it's called "the woods".
Friday, February 13, 2009
LOGBLOG HISTORIC REPOST of "In a Park, Outside Guayaquil"
ARTURO (HOLDING TREE):
I plant this small tree, in honor of The Generalisimo!
ARTURO NOTICES HECTOR'S FOOTWEAR:
Hector...I thought I asked you not to wear sandals.
HECTOR (WHITE SUIT):
Mierda! I told you! My feet need to breathe!
GENERALISSIMO:
Be careful maricones! Harm that tree and I sit on your face, like this!
SAD GUY IN BACK:
You don't want that. Believe me, amigo.
I plant this small tree, in honor of The Generalisimo!
ARTURO NOTICES HECTOR'S FOOTWEAR:
Hector...I thought I asked you not to wear sandals.
HECTOR (WHITE SUIT):
Mierda! I told you! My feet need to breathe!
GENERALISSIMO:
Be careful maricones! Harm that tree and I sit on your face, like this!
SAD GUY IN BACK:
You don't want that. Believe me, amigo.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Tilt n' Shit
A distasteful variation on the more common Tilt n' Shift, Tilt n' Shit combines photography and biology, requiring a special lens, an understanding of the Scheimpflug principle, a recent meal, and pretty good balance. And a leaf.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Who has a log head? Coen!
GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
I'm mad at Coen, what should I write?
GUY WITH MARKER
Coen has a broccoli-face.
GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
Somehow that doesnt feel strong enough.
GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
Ok. Coen ripped your mother's head off and shit down her throat.
GUY WITH MARKER
(silence)
GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
Ok. I got it. Give me the marker.
I'm mad at Coen, what should I write?
GUY WITH MARKER
Coen has a broccoli-face.
GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
Somehow that doesnt feel strong enough.
GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
Ok. Coen ripped your mother's head off and shit down her throat.
GUY WITH MARKER
(silence)
GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
Ok. I got it. Give me the marker.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Slowest Logrolling Contest Ever
After four and a half days the third turtle from the right won. To find out all the exciting details ask the guy who took the photo.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Breeding Santa Logs
Female Santa logs should be bred when they are 30 years old. The male Santa log is positioned atop the female until a strong woodsy smell is detected. The male is then removed from the logpile as aggressive females can harm them with their long, splinter-like teeth.
Log pups are born barkless, eyes closed and red Santa hats folded up. They do have their white Santa beards at birth.
Females only have 11 wormhole teats, so in the wild nearly half of the weaker log pups die off and are consumed by their siblings. Another 3-5 will be accidentally consumed by the male Santa log after bingeing on eggnog.
Log pups are born barkless, eyes closed and red Santa hats folded up. They do have their white Santa beards at birth.
Females only have 11 wormhole teats, so in the wild nearly half of the weaker log pups die off and are consumed by their siblings. Another 3-5 will be accidentally consumed by the male Santa log after bingeing on eggnog.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Logs in Graphic Design
A log-themed design element can be a powerful tool for making your communication attention-getting and effective.
In this case, a simple illustration of a split log lends a ‘must-see’ urgency to a public safety sign containing vital monkey information.
The statement ‘Now monkeys are around here’ on a sign WITHOUT a log illustration is in clear danger of being ignored or misunderstood.
In this case, a simple illustration of a split log lends a ‘must-see’ urgency to a public safety sign containing vital monkey information.
The statement ‘Now monkeys are around here’ on a sign WITHOUT a log illustration is in clear danger of being ignored or misunderstood.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Last Photo He Ever Took
Escaped without serious injury - though squeezing sap out of the old wormhole hurt like hell for a few weeks.
Driver of the car didn't fare so well. This was probably the last photo he ever took.
Driver of the car didn't fare so well. This was probably the last photo he ever took.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
The power of 40 international chain saw carvers!
"Put 40 international chain saw carvers beside that, and you have a winner!" True for logging competitions. But as you'll see, adding 40 international chain saw carvers to anything makes it a winner.
Ancient Herbal Formula Mint Tea, now with 40 international chain saw carvers!
The Pope, a Clown, and 40 international chain saw carvers! walk into a bar.
Knock knock. Who's there? (pause) 40 international chain saw carvers!
You had me at "40 international chain saw carvers!"
The Olive Garden. And, 40 international chain saw carvers!
Mary Kate and Ashley Olson. In bed with 40 international chain saw carvers!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Log, or "Log?"
According to SiteMeter 37% of visitors to the LogBlog think it refers the colloquial usage of the word log: fecal matter, turds or poo, rather than the intended longish rough pieces of wood cut (or fallen) from trees.
Nearly 21% of visitors expect a scatological or fecal fetish site of some kind, a site such as THIS or THIS, or THIS.
And 11% come to the Logblog specifically for that purpose, hoping to find something like THIS, or THIS, or THIS or even THIS.
LogBlog is in no way is associated with this content, and regrets the confusion between this Log Community and sites like THIS, and THIS and THIS.
Monday, October 23, 2006
For Your Log Pocket
WATCHMAKER CIRCA 1894 :
Must think of theme for new pocket watch. Already done regular numerals, already done roman numerals. Think....think...
VOICE FROM NEARBY WOODS:
How about logs?
WATCHMAKER:
Logs. My god. That’s perfect.
Log-themed pocket watch on EBay.
Must think of theme for new pocket watch. Already done regular numerals, already done roman numerals. Think....think...
VOICE FROM NEARBY WOODS:
How about logs?
WATCHMAKER:
Logs. My god. That’s perfect.
Log-themed pocket watch on EBay.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
In a Park, Outside Guayaquil
ARTURO (HOLDING TREE):
I plant this small tree, in honor of The Generalisimo!
ARTURO NOTICES HECTOR'S FOOTWEAR:
Hector...I thought I asked you not to wear sandals.
HECTOR (WHITE SUIT):
Mierda! I told you! My feet need to breathe!
GENERALISSIMO:
Be careful maricones! Harm that tree and I sit on your face, like this!
SAD GUY IN BACK:
You don't want that. Believe me, amigo.
I plant this small tree, in honor of The Generalisimo!
ARTURO NOTICES HECTOR'S FOOTWEAR:
Hector...I thought I asked you not to wear sandals.
HECTOR (WHITE SUIT):
Mierda! I told you! My feet need to breathe!
GENERALISSIMO:
Be careful maricones! Harm that tree and I sit on your face, like this!
SAD GUY IN BACK:
You don't want that. Believe me, amigo.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Big Log? Small Kids?
Either this is a very very big log. Or these are very very small children, on teeny tiny bicycles.
Logblogman is willing to accept either explanation. And doesnt mind if you feel strongly about it, one way or another.
Photo courtesy of Jean-Yves Lemoigne.
Logblogman is willing to accept either explanation. And doesnt mind if you feel strongly about it, one way or another.
Photo courtesy of Jean-Yves Lemoigne.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Do You See The Log In These Pictures?
Ella Huffin was stunned to see an image of a log appear around a Jesus Christ-like figure at her northeast side Milwaukee home.
In Passaic, New Jersey, crowds are flocking to see a mysterious image of a stump surrounding a shape resembling the Virgin Mary.
And Donna Vicarrone says it's truly a miracle that she can see an image of a log in the background of a water stain that looks like the Blessed Mother in her Cleveland backyard.
"There's tons of pictures of Jesus and stuff in the Bible, and on TV. But to see a log, right here in my backyard. Wow. Shivers."
Vicarrone has shown the photo to a local woodsman and a tree surgeon, both of whom confirmed: it's a log. And it's a miracle.
In Passaic, New Jersey, crowds are flocking to see a mysterious image of a stump surrounding a shape resembling the Virgin Mary.
And Donna Vicarrone says it's truly a miracle that she can see an image of a log in the background of a water stain that looks like the Blessed Mother in her Cleveland backyard.
"There's tons of pictures of Jesus and stuff in the Bible, and on TV. But to see a log, right here in my backyard. Wow. Shivers."
Vicarrone has shown the photo to a local woodsman and a tree surgeon, both of whom confirmed: it's a log. And it's a miracle.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Yule Log Charm (Supposedly)
According to the seller, it's a Sterling Silver Christmas Yule Log Charm. Below is a list of 5 other things it could potentially be, if we didn't believe it was a Yule Log.
1. Sterling Silver Really Old Dried Out Fruit Cake Charm
2. Sterling Silver Overcooked Campfire Marshmallow Charm
3. Sterling Silver Canned Ham Left Outside On a Hot Day Charm
4. Sterling Silver 'Nobody Even Touched the Brie!" Charm
5. Sterling Silver Freeze-Dried Major Arterial Blood Clot Charm.
Did I miss any?
1. Sterling Silver Really Old Dried Out Fruit Cake Charm
2. Sterling Silver Overcooked Campfire Marshmallow Charm
3. Sterling Silver Canned Ham Left Outside On a Hot Day Charm
4. Sterling Silver 'Nobody Even Touched the Brie!" Charm
5. Sterling Silver Freeze-Dried Major Arterial Blood Clot Charm.
Did I miss any?
Friday, October 13, 2006
Rustic Log Camping Lamp Stand
“This fabulous item looks like something you'd see in a Western, like Brokeback Mountain or Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!”
OK, so if this really is from Brokeback Mountain, then who's the 5’7 guy? Not Heath Ledger (6’1), not Jake Gyllenhaal (6'0), definitely not Randy Quaid (6’4).
You won’t believe this. Turns out it’s Victor Reyes (Chilean Sheepherder #1) at 5’ 7.
Ebay item number: 250036970385
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Very Fancy Bench
This by far the fanciest log bench Logblogman has ever seen. By a long shot.
He'd feel comfortable sitting on the log part, because it's like sitting on 'family. ' But would be afraid to lean back on the fancy gold parts.
Droog Design, in the Netherlands
He'd feel comfortable sitting on the log part, because it's like sitting on 'family. ' But would be afraid to lean back on the fancy gold parts.
Droog Design, in the Netherlands
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Log-Cart-Made-From-Logs
Another example of life imitating the Flintstones.
It's a cart made for pulling giant logs..made out of giant logs!
FACT: Logs are the only self-hauling natural resource. Try making a cart out of 'fresh air' or 'sunlight'. Good luck!
It's a cart made for pulling giant logs..made out of giant logs!
FACT: Logs are the only self-hauling natural resource. Try making a cart out of 'fresh air' or 'sunlight'. Good luck!
Friday, October 06, 2006
LogBlog Prime Time
LogBlog makes a splash!
A overwhelmingly positive review in the massively popular and influential cutting-edge global trendspotting weblog vulturedroppings.com.
Well on our way to becoming the most popular log-themed blog in the world!
vulturedroppings.com
Log Luv Score of 11
A overwhelmingly positive review in the massively popular and influential cutting-edge global trendspotting weblog vulturedroppings.com.
Well on our way to becoming the most popular log-themed blog in the world!
vulturedroppings.com
Log Luv Score of 11
Thursday, October 05, 2006
My Friend Bob
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
LOG LOG LOG
“What rolls down stairs
Alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor’s dog
What’s great for a snack
It fits on your back
It’s LOG LOG LOG…”
The immortal words of whoever wrote the cartoon Ren & Stimpy.
Click here to see the whole Log Cartoon on YouTube
Log Luv Score of 9.9
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
The Jackpot Story
"I've always wanted to be a lumberjack. My dreams are filled with visions of pole climbing, log birling, springboard chopping."
Is there anyone out there who CAN'T say that about themselves?
Hitting the Japckpot
Monday, October 02, 2006
Southern' Turddin' Times
Excerpt from a logging accident report in Southern Loggin’ Times.
LogBlogMan has replaced the word ‘log’ with the word ‘turd’.
“…A turd hauler was binding down a load of hardwood turds at a turd harvesting operation. Some turds had been stacked on the ground between the loader and the turd trailer. The hauler walked between the loader and the turds to hook the binders.
The stack of turds gave way, pinning the man. Crew freed the man as quickly as possible using the knuckleboom turd loader and a turd saw. Other employees reluctantly administered rescue breathing to the injured truck driver….”
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Tiny Log Pile Scam
From Ebay: A VERY NICE 1:24 SCALE LOG PILE IN CAST RESIN. 3 INCHES LONG X 1 INCH HIGH X 1 1/4 INCHES DEEP. (AXE NOT INCLUDED). A SUPER LITTLE ITEM!
First, they get you to buy the tiny logs. Soon you think “Sure would be nice if I could chop my tiny logs.” So, you go back and buy the tiny axe.
A week later, you’re back buying a tiny canvas cover for your tiny log pile. And then a tiny sharpener for your tiny axe.
Then winter comes round and you start thinking about building a tiny fire. So, you buy a tiny fireplace. Tiny fireplace tools, tiny gloves (that don’t even come close to fitting your hands) and tiny newspapers for kindling.
That’s when you realize... you need a microscopic box of matches. Literally. The matches you'll need are, like, 10 atoms long.
And for that, they charge you one hundred thousand dollars.
That's how it works.
Ebay Mini Log Pile
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