The Blog of Logs

Log Skin With Handles

2009-02-17T14:29:00.000-08:00

I cant think of a better way to protect your 20 x 8.5 x 8.5 log from everyday wear and tear. Not sure what the handles are for though.

Not Useful Logs

2009-02-14T06:01:00.000-08:00

Why make logs and a twig out of the same material they make toilets out of? Duh!? That makes about as much sense as a toilet made of logs and twigs. Wait a minute....that sounds familiar. Oh, yeah, it's called "the woods".

LOGBLOG HISTORIC REPOST of "In a Park, Outside Guayaquil"

2009-02-13T23:33:00.001-08:00

ARTURO (HOLDING TREE):
I plant this small tree, in honor of The Generalisimo!

ARTURO NOTICES HECTOR'S FOOTWEAR:
Hector...I thought I asked you not to wear sandals.

HECTOR (WHITE SUIT):
Mierda! I told you! My feet need to breathe!

GENERALISSIMO:
Be careful maricones! Harm that tree and I sit on your face, like this!

SAD GUY IN BACK:
You don't want that. Believe me, amigo.

Log Proof Suit

2009-02-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

Early prototype for the robot in Lost in Space.

Tilt n' Shit

2008-12-03T14:56:00.001-08:00

A distasteful variation on the more common Tilt n' Shift, Tilt n' Shit combines photography and biology, requiring a special lens, an understanding of the Scheimpflug principle, a recent meal, and pretty good balance. And a leaf.

Who has a log head? Coen!

2008-11-24T09:00:00.000-08:00

GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
I'm mad at Coen, what should I write?

GUY WITH MARKER
Coen has a broccoli-face.

GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
Somehow that doesnt feel strong enough.

GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
Ok. Coen ripped your mother's head off and shit down her throat.

GUY WITH MARKER
(silence)

GUY WHO'S MAD AT COEN
Ok. I got it. Give me the marker.

The Logarythms

2008-11-14T23:12:00.000-08:00

It was a log, then it was paper, now it's a log again.

Clean Log Lovin'

2008-11-12T20:06:00.000-08:00

This is how missionary logs make love. Nothing naughty here.

Slowest Logrolling Contest Ever

2007-01-30T14:33:00.000-08:00

After four and a half days the third turtle from the right won. To find out all the exciting details ask the guy who took the photo.

Breeding Santa Logs

2006-12-31T09:07:00.000-08:00

Female Santa logs should be bred when they are 30 years old. The male Santa log is positioned atop the female until a strong woodsy smell is detected. The male is then removed from the logpile as aggressive females can harm them with their long, splinter-like teeth.

Log pups are born barkless, eyes closed and red Santa hats folded up. They do have their white Santa beards at birth.

Females only have 11 wormhole teats, so in the wild nearly half of the weaker log pups die off and are consumed by their siblings. Another 3-5 will be accidentally consumed by the male Santa log after bingeing on eggnog.

Logs in Graphic Design

2006-12-07T02:23:00.000-08:00

A log-themed design element can be a powerful tool for making your communication attention-getting and effective.

In this case, a simple illustration of a split log lends a ‘must-see’ urgency to a public safety sign containing vital monkey information.

The statement ‘Now monkeys are around here’ on a sign WITHOUT a log illustration is in clear danger of being ignored or misunderstood.

Sweet Revenge

2006-12-06T06:27:00.000-08:00

: )

Last Photo He Ever Took

2006-11-14T07:29:00.000-08:00

Escaped without serious injury - though squeezing sap out of the old wormhole hurt like hell for a few weeks.

Driver of the car didn't fare so well. This was probably the last photo he ever took.

Logrolling, Beginner Level

2006-11-07T13:25:00.000-08:00

Milan and Mark of the Czech Team 2003 Outreach English Class Logrolling Competition at the Paddock Lake campgrounds of the Kenosha Bible Free Evangelical Church, in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

The power of 40 international chain saw carvers!

2006-11-04T15:50:00.000-08:00

"Put 40 international chain saw carvers beside that, and you have a winner!" True for logging competitions. But as you'll see, adding 40 international chain saw carvers to anything makes it a winner.

Ancient Herbal Formula Mint Tea, now with 40 international chain saw carvers!

The Pope, a Clown, and 40 international chain saw carvers! walk into a bar.

Knock knock. Who's there? (pause) 40 international chain saw carvers!

You had me at "40 international chain saw carvers!"

The Olive Garden. And, 40 international chain saw carvers!

Mary Kate and Ashley Olson. In bed with 40 international chain saw carvers!

Log, or "Log?"

2006-10-31T20:23:00.000-08:00

According to SiteMeter 37% of visitors to the LogBlog think it refers the colloquial usage of the word log: fecal matter, turds or poo, rather than the intended longish rough pieces of wood cut (or fallen) from trees.

Nearly 21% of visitors expect a scatological or fecal fetish site of some kind, a site such as THIS or THIS, or THIS.

And 11% come to the Logblog specifically for that purpose, hoping to find something like THIS, or THIS, or THIS or even THIS.

LogBlog is in no way is associated with this content, and regrets the confusion between this Log Community and sites like THIS, and THIS and THIS.

iLog

2006-10-31T19:05:00.001-08:00

Comedic website for a clever log-themed ipod-like device called iLog.

For Your Log Pocket

2006-10-23T16:18:00.000-07:00

WATCHMAKER CIRCA 1894 :
Must think of theme for new pocket watch. Already done regular numerals, already done roman numerals. Think....think...

VOICE FROM NEARBY WOODS:
How about logs?

WATCHMAKER:
Logs. My god. That’s perfect.

Log-themed pocket watch on EBay.

2006-10-23T15:56:00.000-07:00

Oh, baby. That's some fiiiine timber.

In a Park, Outside Guayaquil

2006-10-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

Big Log? Small Kids?

2006-10-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

Either this is a very very big log. Or these are very very small children, on teeny tiny bicycles.

Logblogman is willing to accept either explanation. And doesnt mind if you feel strongly about it, one way or another.

Photo courtesy of Jean-Yves Lemoigne.

Do You See The Log In These Pictures?

2006-10-16T07:41:00.001-07:00

Ella Huffin was stunned to see an image of a log appear around a Jesus Christ-like figure at her northeast side Milwaukee home.

In Passaic, New Jersey, crowds are flocking to see a mysterious image of a stump surrounding a shape resembling the Virgin Mary.

And Donna Vicarrone says it's truly a miracle that she can see an image of a log in the background of a water stain that looks like the Blessed Mother in her Cleveland backyard.

"There's tons of pictures of Jesus and stuff in the Bible, and on TV. But to see a log, right here in my backyard. Wow. Shivers."

Vicarrone has shown the photo to a local woodsman and a tree surgeon, both of whom confirmed: it's a log. And it's a miracle.

Yule Log Charm (Supposedly)

2006-10-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

According to the seller, it's a Sterling Silver Christmas Yule Log Charm. Below is a list of 5 other things it could potentially be, if we didn't believe it was a Yule Log.

1. Sterling Silver Really Old Dried Out Fruit Cake Charm
2. Sterling Silver Overcooked Campfire Marshmallow Charm
3. Sterling Silver Canned Ham Left Outside On a Hot Day Charm
4. Sterling Silver 'Nobody Even Touched the Brie!" Charm
5. Sterling Silver Freeze-Dried Major Arterial Blood Clot Charm.

Did I miss any?

Rustic Log Camping Lamp Stand

2006-10-13T06:19:00.000-07:00

“This fabulous item looks like something you'd see in a Western, like Brokeback Mountain or Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!”

OK, so if this really is from Brokeback Mountain, then who's the 5’7 guy? Not Heath Ledger (6’1), not Jake Gyllenhaal (6'0), definitely not Randy Quaid (6’4).

You won’t believe this. Turns out it’s Victor Reyes (Chilean Sheepherder #1) at 5’ 7.

Ebay item number: 250036970385

Very Fancy Bench

2006-10-12T04:51:00.000-07:00

This by far the fanciest log bench Logblogman has ever seen. By a long shot.

He'd feel comfortable sitting on the log part, because it's like sitting on 'family. ' But would be afraid to lean back on the fancy gold parts.

Droog Design, in the Netherlands

Log-Cart-Made-From-Logs

2006-10-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

Another example of life imitating the Flintstones.

It's a cart made for pulling giant logs..made out of giant logs!

FACT: Logs are the only self-hauling natural resource. Try making a cart out of 'fresh air' or 'sunlight'. Good luck!

LogBlog Prime Time

2006-10-06T17:17:00.000-07:00

LogBlog makes a splash!

A overwhelmingly positive review in the massively popular and influential cutting-edge global trendspotting weblog vulturedroppings.com.

Well on our way to becoming the most popular log-themed blog in the world!

vulturedroppings.com

Log Luv Score of 11

My Friend Bob

2006-10-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

This is my friend Bob. He lives near Seattle, knows a lot about music, and is very very funny.

Not sure who the guy carrying him is.

LOG LOG LOG

2006-10-04T03:23:00.000-07:00

“What rolls down stairs
Alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor’s dog
What’s great for a snack
It fits on your back
It’s LOG LOG LOG…”

The immortal words of whoever wrote the cartoon Ren & Stimpy.

Click here to see the whole Log Cartoon on YouTube

Log Luv Score of 9.9

The Jackpot Story

2006-10-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

"I've always wanted to be a lumberjack. My dreams are filled with visions of pole climbing, log birling, springboard chopping."

Is there anyone out there who CAN'T say that about themselves?

Hitting the Japckpot

Southern' Turddin' Times

2006-10-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from a logging accident report in Southern Loggin’ Times.
LogBlogMan has replaced the word ‘log’ with the word ‘turd’.

“…A turd hauler was binding down a load of hardwood turds at a turd harvesting operation. Some turds had been stacked on the ground between the loader and the turd trailer. The hauler walked between the loader and the turds to hook the binders.

The stack of turds gave way, pinning the man. Crew freed the man as quickly as possible using the knuckleboom turd loader and a turd saw. Other employees reluctantly administered rescue breathing to the injured truck driver….”

Tiny Log Pile Scam

2006-09-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

From Ebay: A VERY NICE 1:24 SCALE LOG PILE IN CAST RESIN. 3 INCHES LONG X 1 INCH HIGH X 1 1/4 INCHES DEEP. (AXE NOT INCLUDED). A SUPER LITTLE ITEM!

First, they get you to buy the tiny logs. Soon you think “Sure would be nice if I could chop my tiny logs.” So, you go back and buy the tiny axe.

A week later, you’re back buying a tiny canvas cover for your tiny log pile. And then a tiny sharpener for your tiny axe.

Then winter comes round and you start thinking about building a tiny fire. So, you buy a tiny fireplace. Tiny fireplace tools, tiny gloves (that don’t even come close to fitting your hands) and tiny newspapers for kindling.

That’s when you realize... you need a microscopic box of matches. Literally. The matches you'll need are, like, 10 atoms long.

And for that, they charge you one hundred thousand dollars.

That's how it works.

Ebay Mini Log Pile

Less Caloric Log

2006-09-29T03:20:00.000-07:00

"Yule love this Yule Log Candle! The traditional confection takes on a less caloric demeanor to brighten the holiday home. 3 x 6 in. Now only $ 5.99 Was $9.95 "

Yule Log Candle

Log Living

2006-09-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

We've seen houses made from many logs, but here is a house made entirely from one log. And you can live in it. The only thing cooler would be a log made entirely from one house.

Log Privacy

2006-09-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

"You don't want your personal information to fall into the wrong hands. Neither does Wholesale Logs of America.

You take online privacy seriously, and so does Wholesale Logs of America. It's our way of sustaining your trust in Wholesale Logs of America and our products and services."

Wholesale Logs of America

Log Tongs with a big L and T

2006-09-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

Normally I wouldn't use capital letters to describe log tongs. But I think you'll agree: these are Log Tongs.

Log Tongs For Sale

Log Home How To

2006-09-24T23:12:00.000-07:00

How To Make a Log House a Home, by DJN

A house is just a house, you know, built by hands of men and LOGs, but a home is where the heart dwells, with warmth and love within.

The touches that are yours alone reflects the life you live, and the warmth in LOG home decorating, tell of the gifts you give.

A well placed vase, a potted plant, and trinket here and there, placed within the LOG walls of a home, with ever loving care.

Splashes of color in each room, a feast for every eye, each item tells a story of now and of days gone by. And LOGS.

Where I Found This Poem

Wanted: LogWoman

2006-09-23T22:26:00.000-07:00

Squeezing a drop of sap out the end of my massive knotty appendage in the hope of attracting a hungry little deer or soft-tongued squirrel for a few moments of pleasure is humiliating.

I need a LogWoman. Pic above is my ex, Cindy. I like ‘em big, and dirty and split down the middle. Like Cindy.

If you like John Mayer and online Soduko and don't mind wood-boring beetles in your wormholes (unlike Cindy) that’s a huge plus.

No weirdos please.

Welcome

2006-09-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hi. My name is LogBlogMan. I'm part Log, part Man. And I have a Blog.

This is my first blog. And this is my first post on my first blog.

My goal is to create the most popular log-themed blog in the world.

My second post will be more interesting. It will be about needing a LogWoman.

See you then.